6.10.13

Day 2: When Being Single Really Sucked

The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge
Day 2: Describe a Moment When Being Single Really Sucked

Being single is fun, but like many things, it has its downside.  Let's get real.  Let me be blunt about it. There are moments when being single really sucks.

There are times when being alone kicks in.

(1) There are really really long days when you need someone to talk to or just listen to you rant away patiently, hold your hand and assure you that everything's going to be okay. Your friends are great to be around with, but you will always have this longing for something more intimate. A relationship that goes deeper than friendship could go.

(2) I've always loved babies! They're cuddly, funny and downright adorable. Even when I was still in high school, no boyfriend yet, I would dream about babies. My own, or my mom's or just those little creatures smiling those cute toothless smiles. So sometimes, when I'm taking it slow and notice babies around me, I get a pang, a yearning to have my own. But when I really think about it, get real about having babies at this time, give myself a pat on the back and say, "No, girl. You know you don't NEED one right now". And I move on, loving my being "baby-less" at the moment.

(3) I don't mind going solo and being surrounded by couples. I can't help it if my friends would bring a +1 in some of our get togethers. I totally understand. But if I REALLY need to bring someone with me, although my list of friends are long, it's a little frustrating when I can't just pick one. It would have been easier if you've got this one permanent person you know you can automatically bring with you.

(4) I've had long term relationships, from one year and eight months to five years. So each break up, no matter how long the relationship went is always bloody, always messy, always sucks The adjustment period from having someone to turn to all the time, someone you regularly text, call, have meals with and go places with to having to deal with loneliness or being alone for the first time in a long time can really get to you. Being easily attached, adjusting from "having" to "losing" was really devastating for me.

(5) I remember spending the holidays alone for the first time after a break up. I was up just like everyone else, but instead of exchanging gifts or stories and having someone hold me, I was crying my eyes out watching Shrek 3. What can be worse than that?!

(6) It sucks when people poke fun at you like you're a freak without caring to know you have good reasons why you are single. It sucks to hear people make snide remarks and make you look desperate.

We humans have this inexplicable, insatiable, unending need of having someone or something that can make us feel complete. We need to feel wanted, to hold and be held, to have someone to keep us warm when it gets a little cold and chilly, someone to fall asleep with, someone to start our day and have breakfast with, someone waiting to welcome us home after a long day, to make plans and do something unplanned with, someone to share our victory and pain with. We all have a desire to love and be loved. 

So it's doubly difficult to walk this earth alone. But always, I would remind myself that this is also the best time to get in touch with my inner self, know what I really want and measure my real strength as an individual.

Life is a roller coaster ride; being single included. It has many ups and downs. It's one crazy ride. When I get to the "down" part I just remind myself that I'm not alone in this journey (though it really feels that way at times).

I'm grateful that I wasn't born envious or jealous of others. I know how to find and create my own happiness.

Being single is not for the faint of heart.  Because being single can really suck.

But that's okay. We can't have rainbows without a little rain.  

So, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. The thing to remember is; if we're alone, then we're all together in that too. 
 --- P.S., I Love You

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. 
---Moulin Rouge

lux's

2 comments:

  1. I agree - sometimes it would be nice to have someone to talk to and who would listen to me vent patiently :o) And break ups are never clean -- what a period of transition and change. Love this post - well said!

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    Replies
    1. thank you Christina. it's nice to know that somebody out there knows exactly how it feels. makes me realize that i'm never alone in the humps and bumps of this journey.

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